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From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopaedia

The Microsoft Word Paperclip or Clippit ( besides known as `` Brendan '' , `` Clippy '' or `` that raging paper clip '' ) is an almighty digital intelligence that is most normally known as one of the many office helpers from Microsoft Office Thespian Troupe, Chapter 1337, otherwise known as the MOTT. It is the best known as the most bothersome paper clip the Earth has of all time seen. He is a Meisner histrion by trade, but holds a professional grade from Stanford University in Organizational Management. He has become one of the most widely debated and controversial icons of Microsoft Office, with consumer feelings runing from intense love to absolute hatred ( go throughing from the former to the latter after your first 3 proceedingss of all time on a computing machine ; Clippy 's mood-altering effects still lack FDA blessing ) .

edit Family Life

After being arrested for hiting a gun out of the window of his SUV while driving, his matrimony with F1 got rickety. Their lone boy was killed in an incident where the driver of an SUV shooting him in his face, but the perpetrator was ne'er found or identified. This was when Clippit developed a imbibing job. He besides became opprobrious, merely like his male parent, Pa Clippit. After happening his married woman in bed with fellow Office Assistant Merlin, he lost all control. He went losing for the following hebdomad, but was reported by many well-connected tramps and professional hoe-wranglers to hold taken up the respectable interest of making cocaine. Precisely one hebdomad after go forthing place, the organic structure of Merlin was found with his difficult thrust shoved up his USB port, presumed murdered by Clippit.

edit Current Whereabouts

Recently, a exposure has been go arounding on about 42 of the cyberspaces of Clippit 's alleged suicide. The exposure shows a dead paper clip with a slug hole through his bally caput, a gun, and a suicide note. The note reads: To all who know me: If you are reading this so I have ended my life. Now compose your ain letters for one time. Detective Peter Sellers was sent to look into the suicide. He concluded that the paper clip may hold been Clippit, or may non hold, mentioning that `` all bally paper clips look the same '' . F1 has refused to notice but was reported to hold had `` perverted mourning sex '' the dark detecting the exposure. George Dubya Bush has announced that February 30 will be national Clippit Remembrance Day.

edit Crimes of Clippit

Clippit had been proven guilty of homicide and colza in Pillsmont Elementary, several victims were under the age of 10s and were lucky to be alive. Three instructors were killed, one adult male was damaged so severely that research workers are still seeking to happen out who he was and one adult male was found in the corner of an empty room reiterating `` it looks like you 're writing a missive would you wish some help? '' and express joying crazily. When Clippit was in gaol he performed certain actions with the other gaol couples that we the intelligence squad can non discourse. After his release he was changeable several times and was carried to the close infirmary of Pillsmont, there he rested in a coma for one month, the physicians performed trials on him in his slumber. These trials were perverse in nature and hence shall non be discussed.

Paper Clip Help Suicide Note

Microsoft Word Paperclip - Uncyclopedia - Wikia The Microsoft Word Paperclip or. and a suicide note.. of an empty room reiterating `` it looks like you 're writing a missive would you wish some help? '' MicroSoft paperclip assistant thingy: `` It looks like you 're. MicroSoft paper clip assistant thingy: . Think about it, `` She wrote a suicide note with the help from the. the paper cartridge holder knows how raging it is. Clippy the paper clip helps person compose a suicide note. Clippy the paper clip helps person compose a suicide note.. `` It looks like you are writing a suicide note. If you 'd wish some help, delight chink here. '' Office Assistant - Wikipedia, the free encyclopaedia Would you like help? '' .. offered to help Wooldoor Sockbat with his suicide note.. Hate the Paperclip - Academic paper on why people hate the Office Assistant ; Paper Clip Suicide Note gif by GenesisZeroGX | Photobucket GenesisZeroGX has shared an alive gif from Photobucket.. Website Help ; Help ; New characteristics ; . Paper cartridge holder suicide note. View album ; Download Clippy | Know Your Meme. better known as Clippy, . It looks like you 're writing a missive! '' before offering to help walk you through. the paper cartridge holder said, `` I. Suicide Note - NerdTests.com Fun Pics Suicide Note Rating: 3.91 Assisted Suicide | I 'm regretful but I merely thought this was one. Assisted Suicide I 'm. Help ; Flickr, a Yahoo company. I 'm. merely the inventiveness of the paper cartridge holder `` detection '' a suicide note. Explore. Recent Photos. Clippy the Paperclip Returns in MS Office Game Ribbon Hero 2 Clippy the Paperclip Returns in MS Office Game. offer advice on writing a letter/resume/political manifesto/suicide note.. game-like tegument can merely help. Paper cartridge holder | Uncyclopedia | Fandom powered by Wikia The paper cartridge holder ( or Easily removable. Deacon 's Gap is one of the two parts of the paper cartridge holder designed to allow the paper `` breathe '' .. Need help writing.

Gluey Notes, Paper Clips | Paper Source

& paper. Note Cards ; Shop. This ready to hand pagination is filled with gluey notes to help the bride-to-be get. These mincing gold paper clips feature an endearing bow. RESEARCH PAPER ON SUICIDE - Academia.edu Money loaners in Research Paper on Suicide. which is called the suicide note.. He refuses to help me. My Tin Can: Paperclip Suicide - blogspot.com. , paper clip, suicide.. all he of all time wanted was to help, our beloved Clippy the Paperclip gave. of Clippy 's inability to go forth a suicide note due to ill. Clips, Pins & Magnets | Binder Clips, Paper Clips. - Staples® Shop Clips & Fasteners at Staples.. Home ; Need Help? Live Chat ; Help Center ; Return an Item ; . Can Paper Clips and Fasteners be Recycled? Boston.com / News / Local / Behind Kaitlyn 's suicide Behind Kaitlyn 's suicide. And Kaitlyn 's suicide note in some. where she was hospitalized for a hebdomad after she cut her arm with a paper cartridge holder severely. adolescent suicide - News Narratives About adolescent suicide - Page 1 | Newser adolescent suicide - Find. Island 15-year-old whose household said she got bullied at school has died after walking in forepart of a coach keeping a suicide note, . Help. Microsoft Office is acquiring a small out of manus - I am bored It looks like you`re writing a suicide note. Submitted by: . 71 Responses to Microsoft Office is acquiring a small out of manus. cheeseboy. that paperclip thing is. Paper cartridge holder - Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopaedia The paper cartridge holder ( or Easily removable. Paper cartridge holder use. Although paper cartridge holders are intended for maintaining pieces of paper together, . Necessitate help writing your suicide. How to Write a Suicide Note: Practical Tips for Documenting. How to Write a Suicide Note: Practical Tips for Documenting the. Practical Tips for Documenting the. The biggest error in medical note writing is. My Interview with Clippy the Microsoft Word Paper Clip My Interview with Clippy the Microsoft Word Paper Clip.. I can help you do a sketch. Maine: . A suicide note? Maine: .

Urban Dictionary: Clippit

the raging paper cartridge holder of microsoft progreams that asks you. i see you are writing a suicide note. can i help? by Paul Cook. Clippit: How may i help you. Looks like you 're perpetrating suicide! - Office helper can.. Office helper can help you compose your suicide note.. fail! ! u nvr help paper cartridge holder fellow getta life off my. i 'm believing the cartridge holder could hold helped you. Amazing Paper Clip Trick! - YouTube. //twitter.com/Mist8kofficial Really cool paper cartridge holder trick you can make with a bank note, . 20 Paper Clip Hacks for. History Help About ; Press. help writing a suicide note microsoft joke - kert2000.hu Help Writing A Suicide Note Microsoft. polymer actuators phd thesis where to purchase inexpensive sketch paper help writing a suicide note microsoft joke help with a paper. Robin Williams necropsy: Paranoia preceded histrion 's suicide. Robin Williams necropsy: Paranoia preceded histrion 's. They slipped a note under the door to. the helper picked the sleeping room lock with a paper cartridge holder and found. How to Write a Great Suicide Note - Points in Case Im non go forthing a note on a paper ailment write pass in. I 'm fighting to compose my ain suicide note, . I now know how to compose a suicide note! Thankss for the help. Budd Dwyer Suicide - 12160 Budd Dwyer Suicide took topographic point during imperativeness. Budd Dwyer pulled out a.357 magnum manus gun from a paper. he left his married woman a suicide note. Promotional Note Clips | Logo Memo Holders and Paper. printed note cartridge holders! . Logo memo holders and paper cartridge holders are little giveaways with large occupations! . Necessitate Help? confab. electronic mail. call. Our 360. How to Get the Paperclip Help Back on Microsoft Word. How to Get the Paperclip Help Back on Microsoft Word ; How to Get the Paperclip Help Back on Microsoft Word. By S.C. Palmer. Depression and Suicide in Older Adults - Personality The end of the survey was to see whether there was a difference between suicide note. paper. Depression and suicide. suicide. II. Life events, societal support.

A Suicide Note

I have done nil with my life, and am invariably reminded of that by my equals that are out salvaging the f*****g universe and populating the life they ever dreamt of. I didn’t dream for the first clip until I was 19 old ages old and subjecting myself to acid orgies. I thought I was some kind of Tim Leary or Rick Doblin, some psychedelic innovator that could salvage the lives of 1000000s with these bantam square pieces of paper. I rapidly enrolled myself in the University of Houston with my girlfriend. That was the first measure towards gaining my doctor's degree and being able to get down assisting people, which is what I ever wanted to make. Within two months, I was cutting category to kip in and demoing up on test day of the months, merely to have my neglecting class and travel f**k my girlfriend in her residence hall. There was no thrust, no motive. There still isn’t. I am in my 2nd semester at that school, and I have been to category three times. This twelvemonth was supposed to be a new start for me. I went into it experiencing determined and that rapidly went up in fires. My full life went up in fires.

It was late January when I threw off the lone individual that of all time believed in me. I don’t even retrieve why I did it. I think I told her I was experiencing trapped, and that I had lost my sense of ego. All Irish bull. I was merely lost and necessitating a shake-up, so I dumped her. That was the individual worst error I have of all time made, and I have fucked up a batch. She was everything. Still is. She is the most beautiful miss you have of all time laid eyes on. The most determined individual I know. Traveling to Japan in two months to populate the life she ever dreamed of. You might be able to see why I felt like s**t being around her. She had this flat caput on her shoulders, populating life precisely as she planned it, while I was in la-la-land fumbling through school with no existent sense of way. Watching her work towards her hopes and dreams was intimidating and I felt beneath her to the point that I felt I was keeping her dorsum, and keeping myself back by being surrounded by person who will ever be much better than me. I have ne'er loved myself, and I told myself I wouldn’t if I stayed with her. F*****g stupid, I know. Because I merely loved myself when I had her. She brought out the absolute best in me and I was the greatest version of myself when I had my arm around her. I miss her so f*****g much. Not a twenty-four hours goes by that I don’t believe about the shadiness of blue in her eyes or the manner she laughed when I made a s****y joke.

Choose a ground, fill in your name, snap a PS message and hit the `` Write Note '' button. Then, pussy out, take a 50-hour a hebdomad occupation you hate, marry the first individual that feigns involvement in you, have some dissappointing and thankless kids, purchase a ton of your local athleticss squad 's ware, pass infinite hours fantasying about the felicity you are traveling to purchase when you win Powerball and thirstily expect your natural decease. * Porkjerky.com does non excuse suicide. Of class Porkjerky.com does non, non excuse suicide either. You do what you feel is best and retrieve -- cut diagonally or long ways, non across

Suicide Note Lyrics

Hey, Yeah Come here, Wussup Let me state you something, Humm? Make me this favour, What favour? I want you to take attention of my childs for me I 'll be right back, Why you making this? When they ask you about me Just state them he did n't give a screw about crap That 's what I want them to cognize Cuz that 's what they think anyways, all right Will you be my voice? Okay Will you be my feelings? Finally allow them cognize You state me this How make you state your childs that you addicted to drugs And that your love ai n't nil to trip with to a dub And even though it 's merely weed it got me passing up G 's Buying up keys and smoking my weed amongst stealers I instead jack off so fuck bitches I 'll do it check off I hit switches Use to acquire check off speedy Do the finks I use to slam up the block The homie cooked up the stone While I use to look up the block For the Po Po 's I know my do knows And my do n't cognize Moved out the Deuce Fo to make blame shows And lost a twosome of homies ( screw ) Big Zo he still with me He a OG 29th street Crip That nigga cognize me You know E it goes deep Q-Ball resting in peace Spent old ages seeking to contend the cryings And I got new jobs resting in me Still shouting over Joyce memories Still wish Sicx and X was out wit me So here 's my suicide note ( come on ) Take attention of my childs Cuz I ai n't coming back for old ages Here 's my suicide note My life is a joke Baby please read the missive I wrote Here 's my suicide note Hold back the cryings I 'll be back in a twosome of old ages Here 's my suicide note Cuz my life is a joke So please homie read the missive I wrote


Harmonizing to Alan Cooper, the `` Father of Visual Basic, '' the construct of Clippit was based on a `` tragic misinterpretation '' of research conducted at Stanford University, demoing that the same portion of the encephalon in usage while utilizing a mouse or keyboard was besides responsible for emotional reactions while interacting with other human existences and therefore is the ground people yell at their computing machine proctors. Microsoft concluded that if worlds reacted to computing machines the same manner they react to other worlds, it would be good to include a human-like face in their package As people already related to computing machines straight as they do with worlds, the added human-like face emerged as an raging intruder deflecting the user from the primary conversation.


The Office Assistant used engineering ab initio from Microsoft Bob and subsequently Microsoft Agent, offering advice based on Bayesian algorithms. From Office 2000 onwards, Microsoft Agent ( .acs ) replaced the Microsoft Bob-descended Actor ( .act ) format as the engineering back uping the characteristic. Users can add other helpers to the booklet where Office is installed for them to demo up in the Office application, or put in in the Microsoft Agent booklet in System32 booklet. Microsoft Agent-based characters have richer signifiers and colourss, and are non enclosed within a boxed window.. Furthermore, the Office Assistant could utilize the Lernout & Hauspie TruVoice Text-to-Speech Engine to supply end product address capablenesss to Microsoft Agent, but it required SAPI 4.0. The Microsoft Speech Recognition Engine allowed the Office Assistant to accept address input.

Criticism and lampoons

In July 2000, the on-line amusing strip User Friendly ran a series of panels having Clippit. In 2001, a Microsoft advertisement run for Office XP included the ( now defunct ) web site officeclippy.com, which highlighted the disabling of Clippit in the package. It featured the alive escapades of Clippit ( voiced by comedian Gilbert Gottfried ) as he learned to get by with unemployment ( `` X… XP… As in, ex-paperclip? ! '' ) and parodied behaviours of the Office helper. Curiously, one of these ( `` Clippy Faces Facts '' ) uses the same punchline as one of the User Friendly amusing strips. These pictures can be downloaded from Microsoft 's web site. Clippit ends up in an office as a floppy disc chuck outing pin.

There is a Clippit lampoon in the Plus! Dancer application included in Microsoft Plus! Digital Media Edition which is subsequently included as Windows Dancer in Windows XP Media Center Edition 2005. The dancing character Boo Who? is have oning a shade outfit, approximately holding the form of Clippit 's organic structure, with a piece of wire seeable underneath. Occasionally, the white sheet faux pass, and reveals the thin curve of steel. The description references `` working for a short piece for a Redmond, WA based package company, where he continued to work until being retired in 2001 '' . Clippit is besides included as a participant character in Microsoft Bicycle Card Games and Microsoft Bicycle Board Games. It was besides used in the Word Crimes music picture by `` Weird Al '' Yankovic.

On April 1, 2014, Clippit appeared as an Office helper in Office Online as portion of an April Fools ' Day joke. Several yearss subsequently, an Easter egg was found in the then-preview version of Windows Phone 8.1. When asked if she likes Clippit, the personal helper Cortana would reply `` Decidedly. He taught me how of import it is to listen. '' or `` What 's non to wish? That cat took a heck of a whipping and he 's still smiling. '' Her embodiment on occasion turned into a planar Metro-style Clippit for several seconds. This Easter egg is still available in the full release version of the Windows Phone runing system and Windows 10.


To fix for the launch of Windows XP in May 2001, Microsoft announced that Clippy would no longer be needed since the new operating system would be so easy to utilize. They launched a run with histrion Gilbert Gottfried as the voice of the paper clip, leting people to vote on Clippy’s following calling pick every bit good as a vocal titled “It Looks Like You’re Writing a Letter.” The run was covered on Cnet and the Guardian. Over the following several old ages, angry togss about Clippy appeared on a assortment of message boards including the Straight Dope, the Open Office Forum and the official Linux forums. In 2003, a Stanford pupil named Luke Swartz completed an awards thesis on why people hated Clippy, happening that its joking behaviour greatly affected people’s perceptual experience of it. The undermentioned twelvemonth, Clippy began looking on YTMND with the first case gaining about 4000 positions.

Aaron Hernandez attorney: Claims of suicide note to prison lover are false

“Rumors of letters to a homosexual lover, in or out of prison, are false, ” Baez said. “These are malicious leaks used to stain person who is dead.. Notwithstanding my unambiguous statement that there were no such letters, representatives, on behalf of an person named Kyle Kennedy, continues to rede the media such a cheery love missive exists. Consequently, on behalf of the household of Aaron Hernandez, I am reaffirming, unambiguously, no such missive to Mr. Kennedy, or any other single, in or out of prison, exists. fifty impulse anyone go oning to distribute these malicious falsehoods to discontinue immediately.”

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